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News
Wonkette Movie Night: The Hunger
1+ day, 12+ hour ago (222+ words) Ever since Dracula arose from his crypt and visited a pretty young woman in her boudoir, vampires have been all about getting hot and heavy. They use their powers of persuasion and sometimes an offer of everlasting life. But now…...
Nazi Jake Lang Protested By Other Nazis As They All Crash 9/11 Memorial In NYC
1+ day, 16+ hour ago (672+ words) Outside of the official memorial, tourists and those touched by the attacks stood quietly. Some stared up at the space where the Twin Towers once stood. In their place is a glass tower that shimmers in the sun. We had…...
Boobs. Wonkette One A Day for 9/11/26
2+ day, 13+ hour ago (177+ words) What did we learn today, my friends? Some things! We learned many things in the morning news roundup, as artisanally curated by moi! Evan had some things to say about these dusty old bigot losers, the very same ones who…...
Republicans Unveil Secret Midterm Weapon, It Is Hasan Piker’s Dinglesmackus
3+ day, 22+ hour ago (626+ words) They had no similar questions for Republicans about their actual associations and money-taking from actual Nazis and trillionaire antisemites, because Beltway journalists and New York Times reporters know the DC party invites dry up during fascist administrations if they stop…...
9/11 Hijacker Donald Trump Headlines Sold-Out Republican Convention In Dallas, Free Tickets Available
4+ day, 21+ hour ago (680+ words) In case you haven’t heard the latest, it would appear that Natalie has convinced Donald Trump that he was one of the first responders to 9/11, and that big burly firemen with tears in their eyes, right out of central casting,…...
Fine, Here's Your (Now Annual) Labor Day Studs Terkel
6+ day, 20+ hour ago (932+ words) This post first ran on Labor Day 2025 and we forgot to write a new one this year. Enjoy! Anyway, today we will be celebrating Working class hero Studs Terkel, who would no doubt have some things to say about a…...
Nice Times Has Come Today
1+ week, 20+ hour ago (379+ words) “You are entering Marmot Country.” Silly commercial time! March Of The Penguins (free Vimeo link) was titled March Of The Emperor in France so CANAL+ decided to have some fun with another use of the word. Unfortunately the money is…...
Wonkette Movie Night: Clue
1+ week, 1+ day ago (585+ words) It is 1954 and six people have been invited to a mansion in the middle of nowhere. They are greeted by the butler, Wadsworth (Tim Curry), and he is a very proper butler … or is he?! Everyone has got something to…...
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week’s Cocktail, Jimothy Spoke In Class Todav!
1+ week, 2+ day ago (430+ words) Here’s the subscribe button. ½ oz Sazerac Rye ½ oz Planteray OFTD Rum ½ oz Ginger Liquor ½ oz lemon juice Shake all ingredients except the cola. Pour into a highball glass and top with Coca-Cola. Garnish with whatever you can set on fire....
First They Came For Maria Bartiromo, And That’s How That Story Ended
1+ week, 2+ day ago (288+ words) The announcement said the “last episode” of Mornings With Maria ran Thursday morning, leading folks who don’t watch Fox because they respect their brain cells to assume Bartiromo had been fired after leaving the set, but in fact she hasn’t…...