News
Empty Seats Look Poised to Haunt the 2026 FIFA World Cup
2+ hour, 1+ min ago (23+ words) Scalpers might end up selling tickets for less than absurd list prices throughout this World Cup, which could be defined by empty seats....
Never Doubt the Ability of Police or Feds to Accidentally Shoot Themselves or Others
22+ hour, 35+ min ago (740+ words) The only thing more certain than police or federal agents accidentally shooting themselves or others is that they don't face consequences....
With Vow to Take Kharg Island, Trump Just Announced a Ground Invasion of Iran
1+ day, 2+ hour ago (25+ words) Estimates of U. S. casualties in the taking of Kharg Island have been high in simulations. Trump is about to feed troops into the grinder....
U. S. Sunscreen Is Actually Getting Better, for the First Time in More than 20 Years
2+ day, 2+ hour ago (22+ words) The United States is finally catching up with the rest of the world, which has been using more effective sunscreen for decades....
The 16 Governor Races to Watch This Year
2+ day, 4+ hour ago (785+ words) We predict the nation's most competitive gubernatorial races in 2026....
Finally, Coors Has Created a Wondrous Device That Holds a Few Beers
3+ day, 24+ min ago (549+ words) Amid plummeting American alcohol consumption, Coors has gifted us with a breakthrough in the field of pointless World Cup beer gimmicks....
The Leopards Have Finally Come for the Mormon Face of Sen. Mike Lee
3+ day, 23+ hour ago (266+ words) MAGA warriors led by Utah Sen. Mike Lee, a proud Mormon, are feuding with each other over Christian semantics....
You'll Feel Like a Thousand Million Bucks Drinking the Swanky Billionaire Cocktail
5+ day, 5+ hour ago (21+ words) As Donald Trump comes to terms with giving Iran $24 billion, imagine what that wealth tastes like with the Billionaire cocktail....
It's So Over for Crypto
6+ day, 4+ hour ago (10+ words) Bitcoin is the only thing holding up crypto right now....
Georgia Asks Residents, Would You Mind Helping Us to Kill Some 4-Foot Invasive Lizards?
6+ day, 4+ hour ago (374+ words) When you've got invasive lizards the size of a dog in your backyard, I think most people would prefer to just call in a tip....